Monday, February 27, 2012

Confrontation and attitudes

So, I don't like confrontation. Direct confrontation. I'd rather do it via letter or email. Mostly because when I get really mad about something, I cry. Then, I get even more angry because I'm crying, so I ....cry more!
Because nothing says "take me seriously" like tears, right? As DH was saying yesterday, "Don't get so emotional!" I looked at him, and said "where the heck have you been for 20 some years? I'm emotional. Always have been!"
The confrontation is not with him, by the way. It's with a member of my church's staff who is pushing an agenda that I think is wrong both on a theological and practical level. And he's a condescending person who has the attitude of males outrank females somehow....doesn't sit well with me.
So, because yesterday I had neither time, place or opportunity to finish the issue with him, I have to find time this week to do it. DH thinks I need to do it face to face. He's probably right, but finding the time to do so may be a little tricky, methinks.
I just don't like attitudes of "I'm better than you because I'm male". or the reverse, too. We're all in this together. My attitude of someone's abilities is pretty much based on their actions and their attitudes, and this guy is failing both.


Suburban Correspondent said...

I'm wondering if this is really worth it. I'm thinking it's more this guy's attitude, his dismissiveness, that is (not surprisingly) upsetting than the actual issue. If he were acting respectfully, would it bother you as much? And do you really want to continue working with someone who acts this way?

(Coming from someone who has wasted a lot of emotional energy in the past on things that, in the long run, really don't matter...of course, right now NOTHING matters except these damn head my perspective may be a bit off)

Also, I dropped my cellphone down a storm drain at the town center (not on purpose) and lost your number. Send it to me when you have a chance.

Navhelowife said...

Well, it is two fold. The issue itself IS really important to me, but his attitude just raises the hairs on my neck.
I've calmed down a bit, but still determined. We'll see how it plays out.