*selfish. I Read FB updates and just don't see how they matter. And I know they matter, to them, and I know they will matter to me. But right now, some of them just seem pointless. And unfair.
*tiring. I am bone weary. Still functioning, because life trudges onward. And sleeping, and eating, and all those things, but in and amongst it all, bone weary.
*frustrating. Because I know that the only cure is time.
*repetitive. Saying "thank you" over and over. And "yes it is hard" and all the phrases we so carefully construct so we don't burst into tears in odd places.
*. It just is.
But there is joy amongst the grief, and happiness and laughter in life as well. Like youngest boy joining Boy Scouts. Like puppies who try to climb in your lap. And they weigh about 59 pounds each. Friends who call and shore you up to get through the day. Far away friends who send you emails that make you sob, but in a good way, because they offer such deep comfort. Things to do, a family to care for, a God who is in all of this with me.